I hate being such a jealous person. I hate it so much and I hate that I can’t trust enough. I try so hard to suppress the jealousy but nothing works and it just ends up draining me. I don’t know how to fix it and I always feel like my feelings are irrational and pointless and I shouldn’t feel the way I do. I hate that I’ve had to experience trama to allow me to not trust enough. I hate the way my mind wanders from the slightest little thing and imagines so much more than needed. I feel like a disgusting person because of jealousy. I always try to never act of it rashly but I always end up pondering on it too long and then forgetting about it and then when something reminds me of it I’m so low. I really hate being insecure and not trusting and always feeling like I’m due time Ill be replaced because I’m not interesting or smart enough. I try so hard to just be okay and a good person but things like this kill me and make me feel so irrelevant and dumb and like I’m just a waste of space. I really like such a bother to others and like I don’t have much of an impact on people. I’ve never been the one that people go up to and want to get to know me. It’s like I’m invisible in the most intimate places. I don’t feel like I stand out from others, I’m just like a basic drone. Sorry I just needed to vent some type of way.