Behind on Dissertation

I’m 35 weeks pregnant and have been supposed to be focusing upon my dissertation throughout pregnancy. Let’s just say that I’m at a point where I’m majorly behind and currently beating myself up for it. All throughout pregnancy, I’ve had no motivation to work on it (which is extremely unlike me! I’m normally a highly motivated student in a doctoral program). When I would go to sit at the desk to work on it, I kept getting anxiety attacks because I became so overwhelmed that I’m in over my head and then I just avoided, avoided, avoided ... which I knew was unhelpful.... and now, after months of no productivity, I’ve been panicking because I’m so behind and baby is due soon!

I know this is 100% my fault and am really feeling like a failure/beating myself up over it. I don’t know who I’ve become with such low motivation... because I’ve been a top student all of my life. With pregnancy, I’ve had awful fatigue and brain fog (which I later found was due to very low iron levels), which may have partially played a role. Along with some depression and anxietv I think.

I’m anxious how I can get back on track after baby. I hope that I feel more mentally sharp, in general, after baby compared to this horrible state of brain fog that I feel like I’ve been in.