So unhappy

I cant even look at my SO or pictures of families with their kids or anything without crying i just want to be numb to it all already. Im so confused because i love him i just wish i could feel the same love i put out. Instead I feel so unloved and unattractive and just not good enough anymore and i want to leave but I’m scared to be alone because i have general and social anxiety and i worry if maybe im making a wrong choice☹️