Everything happens for a reason

Well ladies... a not so happy topic that I really don’t know where to begin. I found out I was pregnant on April the 20th and confirmed on April the 25th that I was 4 weeks prego. I can’t even describe the excitement I felt when I found out. I was never really “trying” to get pregnant but I have some problems that lower the chance of me to get pregnant. Long story short my boyfriend was excited, we started planning everything. It was a dream come true. Yesterday April 30th I start spotting and was a little nervous but didn’t freak out... then I noticed it got heavier and heavier, I had a pretty bad fever and truly felt horrible, not to mention the sharp pain. My boyfriend takes me to the ER only to find out that I had lost the baby. My heart dropped. Words cannot explain how much of a failure I felt, here is a guy that is excited to have a baby with me, a guy that I’ve been knowing for 5 years and I just feel horrible. This is my first pregnancy as well as my first miscarriage. So it is confirmed to say that I am depressed basically so I’m seeking out to a community that some women might relate to me and could possible give me some pointers, anything is appreciated. My self esteem was at a 10 and now I feel like a 2. I understand things happen for a reason but I never thought it would be like this?