venting..

I hate that no one understands what it means to be suicidal in your 20s.. I myself don’t even fully understand it. Or having depression and separation anxiety.. and, I can’t be open about it. Because then people treat you fragile. And, think since you have a few good days, you’re just cured.. but fail to realize we have just adapted to always smile, and never let anyone see your weakness. Meanwhile at the end of the day I still cry myself to sleep. If I can even fall asleep. And when people who don’t know call you mean things, they don’t realize it only adds to the reason you want to take your own life. But also not wanting your family to miss you. But also wonder why they never told you how hard this was. Or anyone. I’m just feeling so down. I want it to be easy. Or just go away.