I don’t want to take medicine

I wake up everyday miserable, I love my baby but I feel like my life is routine. Everyday is just filled with watching her, feeding her, changing her etc. I don’t have my own life. My bf works 2 jobs so he’s barely home. When he is home he sleeps. I’m on maternity leave but I don’t want to go back to work at all. I’m sad most of the time. I usually just stare into space when she’s sleep & I don’t have anything to do. I don’t want to be bothered with friends or family. I’ve talked to my OB & she wasn’t really helpful she just said feeling down after a baby is normal & if I wanted meds, she’d write a script. That was all. I honestly don’t want meds, I don’t want to have to take a pill to get through my day or be happy about my daughter. I feel like shit. I want to lose my pregnancy weight but I eat when I’m sad or bored. It seems like when I’m having a horrible day is when my daughter is at her worst & I just can’t take it. Then I’ll sit her somewhere & just let her cry but I feel like shit because she’s all red & eyes watery & she just wants her mom but I’m too selfish to care. I cry sometimes until my head hurts. I just feel useless now, like my purpose now is just to take care of her which is my job & I made the choice to have her but I don’t feel like my life has any purpose anymore