...what to do...

Im tired, all I can do is fucking screw shit up. Im currently sitting alone in the house feeling miserable, drinking, and smoking.... I'm a day late on my period, all my tests are negative and I have no one. My boyfriend is at the bar with his buddy(I dont mind) i just wanna fo something other than sit in this damn house and be bored. and depressed. this town has nothing to do in it. im alone and just wanna go out and be a fucking 20 year old....is that to hard to ask for?