We have theo and jaydin Wednesday after school, all thursday and Friday before school. Jaydin is 5 and wets the bed. I say this but he is dry all night and wakes up and wont get out of bed to the toilet. Its too cold, i dont want too, i have a pad so j can wee in it. Potties are for babies he said but he is fine wearing a pink nappy!? If we put a hole in the bedroom wall then you would see the toilet with the light on.

ANYWAY im angry. Sam works wednesday night so i do everything. Get them from school and cook tea. Shower and bed. Sam comes home at 9.30PM Works thursday morning from 7.30AM until 2.30PM so school morning i wake them after hes gone to work. Do everything again and go to school. Sam comes home at 2.30/3 so i do school run. Sam is then home until 6.30 because he then goes to football. So i do bed rountine again. Friday morning sam might be home in the morning so he will do morning rountine.

He asked me yesterday if he wasnt around enough. Which at the moment im pregnant about 5/6 weeks. Had a scan wednesday and there were two sacs. One yolk but no fetal pole or anything. Im spotting brown. They said it could be 2nd sac coming away. So im back in 2 weeks. Any advice on that would be brill. So i tried to tell sam that he's not been around for me and everything thats going on. He told me to forget that and said am i annoyed that im at home looking after his kids and hes not here. Sams never said his kids. Its either ours or the boys. So i knew something was wrong yesterday.

I start a new job next week. Drs signed me off yesterday until after the scan. He said if i mc i do there is nothing we can do but he doesnt want me doing something and me then saying i caused it. And because i had a mmc last year and nearly died he said im safer at home.

I havent been able to talk to sam because he came home from work. I asked to speak and he said he will when hes home from football. I cried because i didnt want him to be 45 mins away with no way of getting back to me and i have no family to sit with the boys as they were working night if something was to go wrong. Sams work is a 2 min walk from the house.

So he walks in at midnight and wakes me up. Im upset because ive needed him. Im a worrier. I have no job at the minute so yeah hes working everything. I dont mind having the boys without him. But i was hurt he went to football and not stop and talk to me.

He didnt wake jaydin in the night like i have to do so jaydin needed the toilet this morning and wouldn't get up. His excuse was if you dont get me i wont go. Hes a little something you know.

I sorted school clothes. Asked sam why he was late and he just said because thats the time he came home. So i went back upstairs because i feel sick and im in pain. Sam comes upstairs and said ive stormed off because im annoyed he went out and didnt come home when i wanted him too. And i think hes been out doing whatever and if i dont believe him then i should message kerry and jack. I never brought any of that up. I said we needed to talk and he said well we can today and i said that was no good for me yesterday was it. He said he will put a tracker on his phone or better yet he wont go and i can control him. He stormed off and left me crying.

Im fed up. Ive had enough. Im worrying about little yolk. We dont know how far a long i am because each cycle got later or earlier. My drs wont do bloods or anything until after 2nd scan. I needed the one person who makes everything better and he does this to me. Honestly i just needed a rant....