Pregnancy and extreme depression

I just found out I am 5 weeks pregnant, and from the minute I saw the positive test I feel like I have just completely shut down.

It is not a good time in our life to have a baby, but never the less before I got pregnant we had talked about children and though we had decided to wait we both said we would be happy to have a child if it happened. We always wanted a baby together.

Now that I’m actually pregnant I just feel miserable. Its the wrong time. It will be so hard. I feel like we have lost everything.

I feel so empty. I feel so disconnected from this baby. Like it’s not even mine. I keep crying all the time. I feel embarrassed and ashamed like everyone will think I am disgusting for having gotten pregnant. But no part of me is happy about what should be a beautiful little baby and to me it’s just nothing. And my fiancée is happy, he supports my choice if I choose to abort... but I can’t believe I’m even thinking about that. I wanted a baby and now I hate the whole idea of it. I feel so alone.... even with this amazing supportive man by my side. I don’t know what to do.