MIL staying in our 1 bedroom apt after baby??

Question

So when hubby and I got engaged last April, his parents were in the process of selling their house and moving 2 hours away. We got married in October and a week later I found out I was pregnant...the best oops ever! We definitely weren't planning for it but we were excited. His mom is over the moon (he's the baby of his family so shes been waiting on grandkids for a while) and not to mention we are having a girl which she's always wanted, when all she's had were boys.
 But since she found out about the pregnancy she's been trying to get us to move where they are and constantly hinting that it's the best place ever....when It's really a pretty ugly part of the state. Not to mention she's looking for places by us to move back to. they JUST MOVED but they want to be closer to "her baby". (referring to our baby)

Anyway, I am 33 weeks now, and I found out she took off an entire week to come down when the baby will be born to STAY IN OUR 1 BEDROOM APT with us and "help". 
It's a sweet gesture, but our place is so small and I want to be able to bond with my baby and not have my MIL running to pick her up every time she cries. She always gives so much unsolicited advice and has been calling her "her baby". I know I will probably be a sleep deprived mess and if I want help I will want my own mom who is only 5 mins away. 
What should I do/thoughts? I don't want to hurt her feelings because I love her but man I'm gonna HATE that.

Answer

tell her to get a hotel she can visit a few hours each day but that's it.

Answer

Tell her NO, that you want the first few weeks (however long you want) to be just you,husband,baby. I tell you my mom called my daughter “her baby” from the moment she was born and she acts like my daughters mother. She ignores my boundaries, let’s my daughter do whatever, it’s gotten to the point where I’ve cut my mother out except family events! Don’t step down hold your ground. Stay stern and get your husband on your side. It’s hard at first but it’s worth it, feeling will settle and everyone will understand.

Answer

What does your DH think about this? I would tell MIL that she won’t be needed for a week in your home. For one, you can’t comfortably accommodate her. Two, it doesn’t sound like she asked. & three, I HIGHLY doubt you’ll want anyone other than DH in your home every day and night that soon after having your LO. You two are under no obligation to move, or have this lady over.

Answer

My mom was in the room when I had my baby and she was allowed to visit while we were in the hospital. She had already taken a week off of work for when the baby was born but I told her that for the first week no one was allowed at my apartment. We wanted the first week to bond and I knew my mom would want to come over every day. She was upset but it wasn’t her choice.  It is completely up to you and you don’t have to feel bad for telling her no.

Answer

Set clear boundaries now so there’s no “misunderstanding” later. She is unreasonable to think it’s ok to stay with you after you’d just had a baby. Wtf??

Answer

Do NOT compromise your peace just to appease others . You’ll drive yourself mad . If you think that you won’t be able to tell her explain it to your husband like this... “babe I appreciate your mother’s generosity to come and help but I want the three of us to bond as a family for the first few weeks . It’s going to be a new experienced for the both us and I want us to share it as a family”. Then invite YOUR mother over whenever you feel overwhelmed . Works like a charm .

Answer

Tell her no! In a respectable way of course lol that’s way too stressful for just having a baby. My parents are visiting from another country and they aren’t even staying with us lol our in laws (both sides), will visit during the day but will be instructed (in a nice way) to give us our space as well. 
Talk to your hubby and have him speak to her and stand strong! Moms can be pushy lol so he needs to be strong

Answer

I tell all new moms the same thing - accept all help that’s offered to you, even if you don’t think you want it. You may need to make a compromise with her, like suggesting just 3 days or staying in a hotel. But I’ll tell you that when you’re feeding in the middle of the night, it’s super nice to have a mil willing to take the baby after you’re done nursing so you can sleep for a couple of hours and she can change the diaper and get baby back to sleep. And choose your battles - who cares if she calls the baby her baby? It is her grand baby. My mom and mil both do that. It’s fine.

MIL staying in our 1 bedroom apt after baby??

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