Heart is avoiding feelings 😪

At 12 I’ll make 4 months with my new partner ❤️ . That should be something exciting right? Well i don’t really feel it . This is my relationship after a long 10 months with my ex , we did not leave on good terms (my fault supposedly) . Well after being in a relationship that was toxic but my first serious relationship, it’s like my heart is avoiding that feeling again and I’m getting desperate for it , usually I feel it in scenarios I can’t fight it , like if we’re making love or going on dates or cuddling. But whenever we’re apart, I get anxious and feel like I don’t want this anymore 🤦🏻‍♀️ I DO NOT MISS MY EX, but it seems like that. Ugh 😒 I don’t know what to do , I’m in a good relationship, it’s good ! My brain knows it, my heart makes me feel like everything is wrong and I’ll never feel love again 💔