Am I crazy? Is it coming off the pill??

Question

My husband and I just had our biggest fight of our (fairly new) marriage. He just told me that he’s planning to take a “bachelor party canoe trip” with one of his best friends, over his birthday weekend. Meanwhile, I reminded him 6 months ago to hold his birthday weekend open for us to celebrate together, it’s his first birthday as “man and wife,” AND it’s the weekend I’m officially moving into his house. I am devastated and feel like he’s choosing his friends over me or that he doesn’t consider my plans as “important.” He, on the other hand, thinks I’m being crazy and hyper sensitive because I just got off the pill, and we’ve read that PMS can hit hard directly after coming off (and yes, it’s the time of the month). So I’m looking for some perspective, am I crazy or justified in my anger? Is this symptomatic of coming off the pill? If so, will it get better??

Answer

In my opinion, I think that if he wants to do something with his friend for his birthday, that shouldn’t be a problem. Birthdays don’t become a couple thing just because you’re married. When it’s my husbands birthday, I ask him what he wants to do because it’s his day and vice versa. If you want to do something special for him for his birthday, plan around his plans. It’s not about making you happy, it’s about making him happy on his birthday.

Answer

I mean, it’s HIS birthday, so why is that a problem? Like yeah it sucks that he wants to change things, but in the end, the day should be about him and what he wants, not you. I think you’re making it too big of a deal.

Answer

I don’t think you’re overreacting. I’ve never heard of you have to celebrate your birthday with me because we are now husband and wife. If that’s what he wants to do on his birthday than he should be able to do so, it’s not like he said I’m going to strip clubs the hole weekend. He will have plenty of more birthdays.

Answer

Could be both. Thins always seem way worse when I have PMDD.  But what he is doing is kind of heartless considering it’s his first birthday as a married man. I think you have every right to be upset. 
If he had told you ages ago that it was happening, fine. But the fact that you told him you wanted to plan something and his disregarded that to spend a weekend with his mates is not cool. He could’ve done that the weekend before or after.

Am I crazy? Is it coming off the pill??

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