Just need to vent

Feeling very discouraged. So i really thought this would be my month. Well, i started cramping the 15th (6 dpo) and have been cramping ever since. i was having some white cm but now I only feel a little wet (like i do right before my period). Period is either due the 20th or 24th (two different apps). With the cramps I already know im out this month then add that my cervix feels hard and I have no other symptoms. I feel like baby #2 isn't gonna happen. We've been trying on and off for yrs. and this time its 4 straight months.