39 weeks pregnant and leaving my daughters father.

Tomorrow I start a new chapter. I am moving out and away from my mentally abusive boyfriend.

He calls my daughter a bill. He tells me I’m nothing and I have nothing and I will never be anything.

He smokes weed with me in the car, he runs reds lights. He trashes our room every day when I try to keep it clean and organized because baby can come whenever she wants. I keep his car clean for him he smokes weed in it every day, ashes every where and keeps old nasty food in the car.

He doesn’t stay a full shift at work. Today, like many days he got off work at 2pm instead of 6pm and has been out with friends all day. He’s just now getting home and it’s 11:24pm. He told me he was on his way home at 9:06pm. I made dinner and ate and cried alone at the table.

He makes fun of me because I receive food stamps. When I make sure he has breakfast, lunch and dinner. Meals prepped for the gym. Energy drinks, protein bars, gatorades and whatever else he likes. Sometimes I don’t even get to buy what I want or like or crave because I care about him having what he likes because he’s the one “working”.

Him and his ex lost their rights to their son January 2017 to his sons, moms mom because of their pill addiction and not caring for their disabled son the way he should have been taken care of.

I’m posting this anonymous because I’m embarrassed and I feel sometimes I comment rudely on people’s posts because I’m ashamed of my own choices and relationship.

I’m hoping to stay strong not for myself but my daughter and build myself back up and becoming a wonderful mother for her.