I was supposed to be induced yesterday (at 41 weeks). They were full so they told me come in today instead. And now they are telling me tomorrow. I completely get that when they are full they have no choice, but I wish I just didn’t make the induction appointment to begin with. I was told it was the best thing to do, and without giving it much thought, trusted my midwife about it. I was told to schedule it they had to check my cervix. I wasn’t planning on being checked until active labor, so I wasn’t prepared for that. I’ve been sexually assaulted multiple times in the past and don’t do well with that type of thing. Since then the ptsd and anxiety I used to get from the assaults has come back. And also after I was told it wasn’t actually necessary to do since they’ll have to do it when I show up for the induction anyways. Every day is more and more torture, knowing I’ll have to let them check my cervix again and probably other things down there. And now every day I’m thinking okay today’s the day I’ll get this over with. And then they change the date of induction again. I feel like I’m losing my mind and I don’t know how to make waiting better. I’d get induced at a different hospital if I could, but I don’t believe that’s an option. Ugh. I just needed to rant I guess. I’m getting no sleep and spend most of every day crying at this point. I’m just so done with this.