I really don’t understand it myself I have struggled with depression my whole life but Nothing like this. Well the past few years I have dreamed of being a mother I have been so excited about it. And now My husband and I finally decided it’s the time to start ttc and now I am terrified and I don’t want to. And I don’t even understand it myself ( I won’t ttc until I am confident again ) but this fear also brings on another fear that the moment I get excited and confident again about ttc I will have PPD and I don’t want to put my child thru that. I just don’t get it I was so excited I was buying baby clothes I was even planning the nursery but now I just don’t even know. I don’t know if it’s the fear of our lives changing or what but I wish it would go away. Has anyone felt or delt with something similar? How did you cope ?