Currently struggling

Summary: due to my secluded upbringing, I (most-likely) have social anxiety, and few opportunities to make friends, so I'm very lonely.

Long version: I'm super lonely, and sometimes I feel like life isn't worth it. I'm homeschooled for religious reasons, basically. My whole high school (Im 12 grade now) experience (and some of middle school) has been 1-2 days of classes a week, with less than 10 students. I've never been in any clubs or after school activities, etc. I didn't realize how lonely I was until recently, but now it's hard to forget. I'm not sure how to make friends because,

1. I'm not part of a co-op, and it's difficult to find groups/clubs

But, more upsettingly,

2. I'm pretty sure I have social anxiety, I lack self-confidence and whenever I interact with people I always feel like I've said the worst possible thing (so I beat myself up about it for days). This makes it super hard for me to make/keep friends, and be myself around them. So I usually end up avoiding people, but I also intensely crave socialization. I'm feeling stuck, and I don't know how to move toward where I want to be.