Post-breakup depression

It’s been 2 weeks since we broke up

It’s been 3 weeks since we don’t talk regularly (after 3 years)

I still hope every day to get a message from you or your phone call

I know you’re not ready yet, but we should talk

What if you are already talking to someone else? What if someone else is making you feel better about the situation that you’re in?

Am I really that easily replacable in your life? Am I really something that you want to get away from?

Was this worth sacrificing our relationship rather than stepping the foot down and working through it?

And what about all the “I care about you more than you know” “If we ever broke up, I never want to lose you” “If we ever broke up, I would call you first thing tomorrow to see how you are doing” “You are a part of me and I don’t know how to do anything without you”

Where is that now? For these two weeks? Is it possible that only I feel that way? Is it possible that you maybe miss me? Did you ever in these 2 weeks feel the need to talk to me? Do you miss me?

Last year, this month was the most beautiful month ever. This year, after 2 weeks, I thought it would get easier, but it’s only getting harder. I feel like disappearing from everywhere and not leaving my room ever again. I feel empty. I feel like this has brought up the worst in me, because I became awful to people. Everything is empty and difficult without you.

It was supposed to be our anniversary on June 17.

I still hope every single day that you will be ready to text me/call me, that we can see each other, talk about this once again and hopefully get back together and work through all of this together.

I hope the universe is listening to me.

This is the only thing that matters to me the most. He is the world to me.

I know I have a lot of other things that I should focus on, I have a new hobby, I have exams to pass, I am travelling far away soon. But I am tired of hearing “Snap out of it” “Don’t be sad” “Who knows why is that good” “One door closes, so many others open” “Just be okay” “Don’t be sad about him”. I am tired of hearing all of that. I am tired of seeing so many messages on Facebook/Instagram/phone and noje from him. I fucking don’t want this anymore! I want him. I want only him. I want him back because he is the love of my life and I don’t want to be with anyone else. I can’t keep my sadness anymore and I can’t deal with this anymore. I need him back. Fuck uou universe for taking him from me. Give him back to me! Give me back to him! It has always been him and I.

None of this is fair, absolutely none of this. Not fair to him, not fair to me, not fair to us. I want this period to end, I want this period just to be as a phase that we needed to go through only to get back on our feet and become stronger.

Every single cell in my body misses him and needs him.

Please Universe, Gods, everything, bring us back together.