Rape? Sexual assault? nothing at all?

Two december’s ago when I was 15, I met a guy through mutual friends on facebook. We started talking, he was really sweet and we hit it off right away! After about a week and a half he was reallyyy pushing meeting up, I was hesitant because i’m really shy. But it seemed like he really wanted to see me so i sucked it up and we set a day for him to come get me, we planned to go to the movies then out to eat, I was excited. On that day I got all ready and he came

to get me, the car ride itself was so fun, we talked and laughed and listened to music and i was so glad I decided to go.

After awhile of driving I realized we were really far from my hiuse but I was kinda shy to ask where we were going, I thought maybe somewhere closer to his house. Then a little bit after we pull up in the driveway at his house, I was immediately kinda nervous but I was like it’s ok... So we go inside and he’s showing me around etc i’m petting the dog. we go downstairs and start watching a movie and he starts kissing me touching me etc, which was ok with me because I already told him ahead of time I wasn’t having sex, and he was ok with it. But before I know it he’s trying something different, he’s trying to pull my pants down but i keep saying no and no over and over but he just keeps trying. he finally stopped when I was basically in tears, in that moment when he got mad and said whatever and we sat in silence for about 5 mins. I was so terrified.

After awhile he asked me to take a shower together, I said no because I know what your trying to do and he said no I promised and I kept saying no but he was persistent and wouldn’t let it go.. I just fucking went bc he was getting angry... And of course he tried again.. but he didn’t succeed... and when we got out he wouldn’t let me get dressed. we were in his room and I was naked and he had pinned me to the bed trying to put it inside me and I kept squirming to resist but he wouldn’t stop. He then told me that if I didn’t let him, that he wouldn’t take me home and that he would call all his friends to come hold me down.., so I gave in and said fine 😔 I shouldn’t have.. but I was scared out of my mind and I was about an hour from home and no one knew where I was going.. I was in denial for a couple days, I tried convincing myself it wasn’t a big deal. And I kinda just brushed it off as I had sex with him because I wanted to. But i’m 17 now and it seems like I think about it more than I did then, so today, 2 years later I decided I needed to tell someone, even if it’s indirect and nobody knows who I am. So if you read this then thank you for listening..