Ex's!!!cheating!! And babies!!

So basically a couple of year back my hf cheated on me 6 months relationship with HIS EX!! I was absolutely heart broken, I was so in love, so happy for once, then bang hit by a bus!

I wanted to be payed back an supportive about him going to hers to see there child. I had no idea he hated her that much- (he said to me) he'd end up shaggin her😂 couple of weeks later after him trying to crawl back and me having a melt down I went out all time.. We talked and got back together been happy since even got our own baby now! But I still can't get over it😂 I can't leave him now but I wish i never got back with him. Then feel horrible because I wouldn't have my baby if I didn't. How do the hell can i slap my self out of it😭😭😭😭