I’m scrolling through the topics here and they’re all so happy and cheerful. And I find myself wishing I felt the same, so I want to shed light on reality. Is anyone else having a really hard time transitioning to motherhood? Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter dearly. We waited so long for her and I am so lucky to have her. Sometimes I cry just looking at her because I can’t believe she’s all mine and finally here safely. But that doesn’t mean everything is all fine and dandy over here. She has bad reflux, was losing weight, can’t latch, and it all makes her terribly fussy. We need to feed her every 2 hours day and night to keep her weight up and I feel pressure to pump to feed her which is so time consuming. Im in bed now with a fever due to mastitis. I feel so bad for her, I feel like she’s sad and uncomfortable and I’m a bad mother for getting upset by all of this. This is so far from what I imagined my first month to be like with her. I so badly wish I was able to fully enjoy this time instead of stressing and crying.

Sorry to be such a downer, I just needed a good vent! I know things get better, everyone tells me. I just wish they would get better soon.