I’d like some advice (long post)

Hi everyone,

I would like to hear some advices about my current relationship.

Some background information: We often communicate our needs and boundaries with each other, and one of the thing I want in my relationship is for him to put me on his priority list. Not like he has to prioritize me over important stuffs like school and family etc, but I just want to know that I am somewhere in his “important stuffs” zone.

Now to the problem. He doesn’t seem to think of me as important. I often have bouts of depression, and sometimes I’d like him to be there with me, encouraging me, helping me get through it (of course not when he has class or things like that, but when he can make time for me) However, he often leaves me for his games and club meetings. Normally he’d say that he promised to be there, so he has to go, and of course I don’t want him to break his own promises to his friends, so I’m fine with it. But when I’m depressed, I just can’t believe that he would leave me - a sobbing mess in my room all alone - and head out for some games or club that he goes to just for entertainment. I don’t think he has to stay with me, but I don’t like it that he would prioritize his games over me. I’m a gamer too, I am not looking down on people who play games, but there are times when I just cannot understand. We talk about this a lot, and all he gives me is “I’m sorry” and “I said I’d be there (the game) so I have to”, then keeps doing it.

Some would say that I can find support in other places, but with my abusive toxic family and my middle/high school classmates harassing and bullying me (I’m in college now), I find it hard to trust other people. I have a counselor, but she obviously can’t be available whenever my anxiety/depression strikes.

What do you all think? Am I needy or demanding too much? My family used to call me an attention seeker too, and I can’t get out of my head.

I’m sorry this is such a long post. Thank you all wonderful ladies for reading all of this and putting up with me.