UPDATE 2: My husband was cheating the whole time

I’ve been married to my husband for 5 years, dated him for 4 years prior to that. I was so in love and thought we had the perfect marriage. We never argued, had so much trust between us and we would have so much fun together. We traveled the world together, had a great time being just us but finally decided that we were ready for kids a little over a year ago. So FINALLY after trying and trying we found out we were pregnant in March. It was the happiest I’ve ever been.

This was our last trip we went on, I felt so happy and we made so many great memories.

My husband is in the Army which means he’s gone A LOT. He left a few days before I found out I was pregnant and I had to tell him over Skype. He was SO excited, he started crying and said it was the best news ever. Well he was gone for two months and in that two months he managed to completely fool me into thinking he was making good choices and being smart at the bars for the sake of our future together.

Well fast forward to May when he comes back home and everything is normal. He is acting exactly the same as usual. He went to the field and I got a message from this random girl on Facebook. A really long message...my first thoughts were oh shit what’s happened? She started off by saying while my husband was away he met her and had an affair. He told her he loved her, wanted to marry her, that they were soul mates. He even met her mom...she told me so much about their relationship in that short period of time that they had together. They had sex almost every time they saw each other and even made a sex tape. This is them when they rented a cabin together for a weekend.

This is from one of their dates they went on.

He never wore his ring, gave her a fake name and a whole fake backstory. She found me on Facebook through connections her boss has in the military. THANK GOD.

I confronted him when he came home the next day and he denied everything.

She helped me get more proof and even told me what to look for on the bank statements. He finally admitted to it and I ACTUALLY thought about forgiving him eventually. While I was talking this out with him once again, I asked to see his phone and he handed it to me (thinking he got rid of all the evidence) well apparently he doesn’t know some things don’t fully delete. I found this picture from the day I confronted him and kicked him out.

I have no idea who this girl is and he claims he doesn’t know her and nothing happened. But we all know that’s probably not true.

Then I went deeper and looked at his WhatsApp messages (which archive instead of delete) and he was talking to his ex. I got in contact with her and she told me they have been in contact the entire marriage sexually, romantically, emotionally. They even tried to meet up but apparently nothing happened. She also told me there was another affair he had a couple years ago that I obviously never found out about.

I looked on his Facebook messenger and of course everything was deleted but I looked at his blocked list and it was just a list of girls. So on my new level of crazy detective, I messaged each of them saying “please hear me out, I’m pregnant and my husband has been stepping out on me. Can you tell me anything about why he might have blocked you?”

The messages I got back pretty much told me this wasn’t an isolated event and he’s been cheating on me for awhile. One of the girls he was hooking up with even said he asked her and her friend to have a threesome. I also found out that the very day I told him I was pregnant, he proceeded to go out without his ring and went home with a girl.

So I did the only thing I felt was right and I filed for separation and moved in with my parents. I plan to divorce him after all this is over but he’s begging for me to please make it work. He says he is going to get help and has been speaking to a therapist. He said he wants to change for our family but my gut says move on and be a single mom. I’ve invested so much time into this person and I still love him but I also hate him right now.

Does anyone have experience with this level of infidelity? I want to hear good things and bad things. Honest opinions. Give me some hope for me and my baby that everything is going to be okay with or without him!!!

Edit: for those saying I should turn him in to the Army for adultery- thank you for advocating for me, I truly appreciate it with all my heart. But right now I need him to have a job. Once the divorce is final he will be paying child support and spousal support and the amount I get goes way down if he gets kicked out/demoted. For now, I need to swallow my pride and just know that even though I want him to suffer, he will suffer in other ways. Like not having full custody 🤷🏻‍♀️

Edit #2: I didn’t include this in the post but a lot of people are concerned for good reason. I did get tested a couple days after I found out. He wouldn’t tell me if he used protection or not and I was scared because I didn’t know the extent of what he could have done. I went to my OB with tears in my eyes and asked for an STD screening. It took about a week to get the results back but thankfully by the grace of God, I am STD free. I have to get tested soon again because my Dr. did say that things can pop up later, so I’m not in the clear quite yet. But as for right now, I am healthy and clear of STD’s!

Update: Hey ladies, I can’t thank you enough for the enormous amount of advice I got from all of you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you! A little update on my life- I’m with my parents now which has been nice, they are helping me get back on my feet. I’m going job hunting and probably going to look for work at a baby store so I can get discounts and familiarize myself with different products. My husband and I don’t talk anymore, I think he’s given up after I’ve relentlessly told him I want a divorce. Our relationship has now turned to a business relationship considering custody, child support and spousal. I’m a little lonely but I’m doing okay and I’m feeling better everyday that passes. I found out the gender of my baby is a boy so I’m very excited. Thanks again everyone 😊

Update 2: Wow I am so thankful for all of you, I want you to know I look at every comment and appreciate all the advice you guys have given me. Okay update on my life...Baby is doing great! Unfortunately relationship-wise things are not so great. Months ago my husband and I had come to an agreement that he would send some money and I would work part time but he hasn't sent money as of late. He has completely blocked me on all social media and when I attempted to ask for money he told me it was better off with him. So I got a full time job with benefits to try to help save up for the baby. I still get messages from other women saying my husband is trying to start relationships with them but he doesn't tell them he is married and has a baby on the way. Meanwhile he sometimes emails me that he still loves me and wishes I would give him another chance and then sometimes I get the occasional threatening email. Next week I go to my first meeting with my attorney so I'm really looking forward to starting the divorce paperwork and getting my life back on track!