Monster in law?

Y’all I just need to vent for a second so this may be a little long🙈 I’ve only met my mil in person ONCE, which will be explained below, and I’m already fed up with her. So to give perspective my family is very open, loving, willing to drop everything to help someone else. Just the ideal family unit everyone strives to be when they have their own family. My husbands is very dysfunctional, which he knows. His parents have been divorced for about 12-13 years now. His dad is just a POS, who disowned all FOUR of his kids and kicked them all out once they were 18. When they were all 18 they were either juniors or sophomores in HS because of failed homeschooling, that HE DEMANDED ,that held them back. So they all had to find places to stay BECAUSE mil lied and also left the country....

Now onto mil.... she remarried and her husband is military. He got orders over seas and she and they’re new baby moved. However she left her four other children behind saying she was leaving in April when in reality she didn’t leave till July. Her children she left behind were going through hell and back with their father and their mother ignored them saying she had no form of contact till July cause “she was over seas”. She was 2 hours away and didn’t care. Her children found out and thus began some bad feelings between them all.

Some point during this my sil, husband oldest sister, got married at 18 to a guy who was in his mid 40s. They currently have 2 little girls, 2&3, with a little boy due June 26th. Mil REFUSES to talk or see her daughter and her family saying it was disgusting and blah blah blah. The kicker? Mil is about 12-13 years older than her current husband and they have a 4 year old son and she’s in her late 40s....so now she’s being a hypocrite.

Well a few months back she flew back to the states and visited EVERYONE but my husband and I saying she couldn’t come see us since she didn’t have a rental car and we would have to come see her during the week. My husband is also military and that week was range week, which means there was NO WAY we could take off on a 7 hour drive one way to go see her in the middle of the week. Friday rolls around and my husband is off work early. We call her seeing if we drive up today If she’s like to get dinner on Saturday.... she says “oh I can’t we’re driving cross country to my parents house”.... apparently they had a rental car THE ENTIRE TIME. Oh and we weren’t supposed to say anything cause she told everyone else that they were flying back over seas. Little did she know a bomb was about to drop...

She gets to her parents in Arizona and her oldest daughter is there for work(she’s also military).. what does mil do?? She IGNORES her child, who she hasn’t seen in 6 years, for an entire week!! They’re all staying in the same house, rooms right next to each other. My mil gets pissed leaves early but in the process of leaving she calls us saying that she should have just came to see us since they were leaving early... my husband is now upset but trying to hide it and I’m pissed.

Now we’re at present day, mil is mad at her parents for not kicking her daughter out and saying how shitty they were for not taking her side. Husbands grandparents are planning to fly from Arizona to nc to come see us for three days June 19-21 and because mil is so manipulative she got it in to hubbys head that they only want to see me and or the baby, NOT him. So now he’s upset cause the only time we see his family is if WE make the effort to see them. now his, very elderly, grandparents have enough money to fly out and see him and mil is twisting it cause she’s still pissed off at them for not choosing their daughters side over their grand daughter... meanwhile I’m trying to be Switzerland over here and not lose my shit cause of my mil and trying to show my husband that his grandparents do care about him.

Side note: his grandparents are the absolute sweetest people, they are the ONLY people on my husbands side that make an effort for holidays and birthdays. When they send cards the inside and back are filled top to bottom with heart felt notes.

The things this woman does BAFFLES me. During all this she has told me I can ONLY breastfeed (formula is a sin apparently 🙄), I’m not allowed to have ANY medicine/pain relieve during or after labor, our sons middle name needs to be her maiden name, oh and labor will be easy and baby will only be 5 lbs at most cause that’s what all of her kids weighed. Firstly unless your going to breastfeeding my child you have no say in what he’s fed, whether it’s breast milk or formula. Just cause you delivered unmedicated doesn’t mean I have to.. I want the damn pain drugs! You don’t get to pick names when you won’t even talk to your other children and REFUSE to meet the two granddaughters you already have. Your kids were all under 5lbs cause you delivered them all between 32-34 weeks... I’m past that baby is weighing in the 75th percentile, he’s not gonna be tiny.

I just don’t understand how a mother can be such a shity manipulative person and ALWAYS be the victim. She would rather her kids suffer and think no one loves them than be a good parent and encourage them to be happy and enjoy time with distant relatives. Hell we drive 8 hours last week to go see my mil brother and his kids and all she wanted to say was how unfair it was that she couldn’t see her son but her brother could. And how she wanted to do all this stuff with us 🙄🙄y’all I just can’t with this lady anymore