Im about 26 weeks. It may just be my hormones, but i expected this overwhelming feeling while being pregnant. I thought I’d be in love with my baby especially when i started feeling kicks and seeing ultrasounds, but I’m not. It’s like I’m forcing it in front of family and friends to be interested and focused on this baby. I honestly just feel like a lard ass and some days i honestly contemplate adoption. I’m in my twenties so my parents weren’t the happiest at first seeing as i had about 1 semester or 2 to finish my degree and obviously that’s going to dragged out a little longer. Plus I’m not married and that’s extremely important in my family. That’s also something i personally value and may contribute to my ill feelings. School can always be finished at my own pace but i didn’t want to raise my child unmarried. I obviously would never hurt my baby but it’s almost like i don’t care. I go to all my doc appointments but i just can’t connect with this baby. I don’t talk to my bump, play music for it and i feel guilty and ungrateful because so many women and women and their husbands dream of conceiving and having their own. I was somewhat pressured to abort in the beginning and i thought I’d feel even worse going with that option so i didn’t. It’s like no one wants this baby so why should i. At first i thought it was anxiety and maybe it still is, i thought something bad was going to happen so i felt it was best to stay detached. I just don’t feel that bond like most moms and I’m scared that will continue when baby gets here. Also my sister died in 2016 in a car crash leaving her 8 month old and i feel so undeserving to be a mom and she couldn’t be and didn’t get a choice. She was an amazing mom and my brother in law is still such a great father. It’s not fair to them. They wanted their little family and now it’s broken. I feel like i should’ve been the sister that died, so she could be here and have her little family she loved and adored. It isn’t fair