It’s a long one this morning as I lay in bed after my hubby has left for work.

I’m feeling very discouraged, but trying to hold it all inside. My husband and I have been married for only a couple of months-but we started TTC right away. We are both young-22-so I’m keeping the TTC private-because people always have opinions. They ask when we will have babies-and I have to pretend not to be concerned about it because the truth is-I don’t even know. My husband obviously wants kids and he is super excited about having them...but there’s a different level of understanding on his part I think. He doesn’t understand the weight I carry-thinking and believing it’s my fault we are being successful. I don’t want to transfer that pressure to him...one of us needs to be optimistic and full of hope throughout this process.

I have Endometriosis and I am 1 year post surgery. I felt so much relief for so long, but the recent months have been awful. My doctor recommended two things: get pregnant and see if the pregnancy helps control or improve and another surgery. It’s a catch 22-I May need the surgery to get pregnant but I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that.

My husbands sister has a 10 month and they are trying again for another-probably will be a BFP for her within the next 3 months. His cousin is due any day and his other cousin just announced she is pregnant with her 3rd surprise baby after not trying at all.

It sounds awful to say I’m upset or jealous. Because I love them all so much and I am so happy to be adding babies to the family. We are very close with his extended family and the cousins hang out all the time...his cousins and sister are teachers-and I am a teacher too-we always hang out in the summer even more because we don’t work. I’m almost dreading these summer months. Seeing all of the baby love makes my heart hurt.

I know we have only had 3 months of negative answers, and some people go through years. That’s just what I am afraid of. I’m 2 DPO now and I just keep praying it will happen.

I never understood the silent struggle women would talk about after getting their miracle. Thankful for this group and being able to struggle a little less alone.