I feel broken

I had a bad childhood with my parents but I felt like it made me stronger not damaged me. I’m about to turn 18 and i just started dating and trying sex. I don’t usually like a lot of people but i liked this one boy so much that i made up a reason in my head to push him away. When i push people away I really burn bridges too. Directly after that i put my attention on another boy to get over that situation and its been a month and im not over. I’ve been thinking about becoming fwb with this to get my mind off things and im horny but idk if I should start something up knowing i have a serious problem.