So for the 6 months I’ve been really consumed with the fear of being rape. I dream about it all the time. I fear it all the time. Last night I was had really bad anxiety and was really thinking about it and was trying to think if it’s possible I have been because I’m so consumed by it and i’ve unknowingly put myself in potential danger when I’ve been drunk. And then I realised I might have been raped a year ago.

I was at a festival. Me and my friends didn’t have a tent because the outer part was missing. But luckily a friend of a friend was there and his friends said we could share with them. I lost my friends on the night time and the lad I was sharing with kept asking to just go back to the tent but knowing what he wanted I kept saying no. Eventually I said we’d go back to see if my friends were there but then it started raining so we sat in the tent. He started trying it on with me and I kept saying no and pushing his hands away then he’d leave it for a minute or two then try again. And then I just got tired of saying no so I let it happen. I was really uncomfortable on the floor during it and we were both drunk so it wasn’t going well and wasn’t enjoyable so I said “just leave it” but then it carried on. Am I overthinking or was it rape?