Last Feb, DH and daughter wanted to get a cat. Despite me being allergic, I agree. With the typical stimulation that they need to be the prominent care givers. Fast forward a few months, I should have expected it. Since January, “we” have been trying to find a new home for the cat. I have run out of friends to ask and sought advice from a shelter. They gave me the option of surrendering the cat and helping find a foster family for it. I speak with DH to try to get feels for what he is doing in regards to finding the cat a home. He excuses me of trying to start argument. With each statement I feel more and more attacked (being pregnant doesn’t help). So with each statement, I fire back similar digs. In the end, he tells me to do what I want and that our relationship will never be the same.

There is no doubt in my mind that our cat needs a new home but to define our marriage on it. Writing this I feel more angry than guilty. I went to him to get his opinion. If the cat stays our family dynamic will change just as drastically as he feels it will if the cat stays. I am tired of headaches, the drainage, the burning eyes, and the hair. I keep as much distance between the cat and myself, including avoiding being home all day because it just makes my symptoms worse. Our daughter isn’t too attached to cat because he bites and has claws.

What is the right thing to do?