Dear you

I can't remember the last time I was able to do anything normally. Without you coming into my head and saying things to bring me down. I'm still stuck with you. I've tried to get help, I have, but it's not right for me. Because I don't know what to do without you. I'd be lost. I can't step into the bathroom without thinking about the scale, I can't go past a mirror without taking a look at my ugly body. I can't enjoy life. Because your always right next to me. Telling me what a fuckup I am. I may be that to you and myself because of you, but I need you to know that other people care. I've seen it. The way they look at me. And whenever someone says the A word, I flinch. I flinch. Because you've broken me. Down to the last bone. And I can't be healed.