Lost for words

Last August I met my ex. I made him wait till December to have sex. A month later I find myself getting a pregnancy test. It was positive. His mom wanted nothing to do with me. And I haven’t heard from him since. In March I went through a few things. First depression. Then a miscarriage. And finally a relapse of tears and anger. I’m having a hard time forgiving myself for all I did. I never wanted to get pregnant. He should have pulled out like he said he would. I lie in bed at night in tears because I saw him with someone else. Am I fooling myself or am I just stupid to think he loved me. He left me in the time I needed him the most. Nothing helps food hugs. I need a new man in my life someone who actually cares