Why is he acting this way 😞

I was with this guy for a little over 2 years. It was an amazing relationship. It wasn’t a total fairy tale, but we had a lot of passion for one another, cared about each other differently, and grew so much together especially when it came to learning how to make a relationship work. We did a lot of great things. But eventually we broke up (his idea) in late December because we were at different stages of life (he’s still in high school, I was in the midst of transferring to another college in the middle of my sophomore year).

I mostly handled it okay. It was just that for a while I was scared that there was more to it than he was telling me (was I not enough? He couldn’t handle my depression and anxiety? etc.) but I came to terms with it. I could go on without him, but it was hard to get over him because I was in a big changing phase because I transferred to a big school, I wasn’t involved in anything or had a set of friends like he did.

We talked every once in a while like if something happened or he saw something funny on my Snapchat, and he was so willing to be there for me when things got really tough. He was such a great friend.

We hung out one-on-one twice after the break up. Both of the get togethers went well. But the last one happened a couple of weeks back. We caught up with one another, and things were going really great for him. But he also did things that I didn’t expect, like the topic of us still being friends came up and then he held my hand at the table when we were eating and was talking about how he was so happy that we were able to stay friends, I was his best friend and I know more about him than anybody, which was nice I guess.

I mentioned later that it seemed like he was better off without me. He said that really he is glad that I am still in his life, but he has adapted to the point where he could go on without me if he could. He had to make the most of his situation. Which I understood.

When I dropped him off at his house, I tried to explain to him that I’m adapting too and making the most of my situation, but it’s just been harder because of the change had I had to go through.

He just smiled at me and said he knew what I meant. Then he kissed me on the forehead and said “I still love you, girl.” We hugged and he called me his best friend. and that was the end of that.

I tried not to lead myself on because I knew that it didnt mean he wanted to get back together (because I don’t want to either even though I still have feelings for him).

But we’ve mentioned about getting together again to catch up on our favorite show and/or watch this movie I want him to see. But he kept putting it off. Which was frustrating. I tried to confront him about it, but he said let’s just hang out when there was an opportunity, which confused me because, catching up on the show and watching the movie was an opportunity. I tried to make plans with him again but he left me on read, so I just ignored it.

But later that week he hosted a get-together for his section in marching band that he going to be captain of and he invited me since I use to be in that same section before I graduated high school. But during the get together- he was texting in the group chat of his new group of friends that he has told me about and was making plans with THEM!!! While he kept ignoring me when I tried to make plans with him! I know that we are not dating anymore, but he acted like before that he still wanted to hang out with me and I was so mad and confused.

I confronted him about it after the get together and he was saying that he has other friends and he has to plan stuff for his section and it takes precedence. I call BS on that because if it takes precedence, why was he so quick to make plans with his group of friends IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS SECTION GET TOGETHER THAT HE IS HOSTING????

I just ended up asking where I stood to him as a friend. I know that we were best friends, but I wanted to know my boundaries so I wouldn’t end up getting hurt. But he kept ignoring me. That was on Father’s Day and he’s been ghosting me ever since 😞

I saw his mom while I was working the other day. She usually isn’t on this side of town that I was in so I asked her what she was doing here. She thought she might as well get shopping done since she dropped my ex off at the state park to go swimming with his group of friends. She was saying she’s glad that he is finally able to go out now. So I mentioned that I’ve tried to make plans with him but he kept ignoring me. She said that he has been acting weird in the past 6 months and it’s mostly because he’s trying to figure out his transition from being a boy to a grown up (he is going on 18 and a rising senior). And that he has been making plans for his section in marching and since he is going to be the section leader, etc. etc. and I can’t remember how it was brought up but I told her about him putting off plans with me but was making plans with the friends at the get together. And she understood my perspective and told me to not worry about it. He still cares about me and is probably going through a phase right now.

I wish I could still understand why he is doing this. It’s like he has turned a total 180 on me within a day. 😞 I might have been clingy or pushy to him, but thats why I asked where I stand in his life so I wont be that way but he is being so difficult at communicating with me . It’s made my depression and anxiety go all time high. Why would he treat me the way he did and then try to shut me out?