I lost all hope

Udate ****so after my husband went to the fertility doctor he seen his primary again. His primary didn't agree with what the fertility doctors said she he prescribed my husband some medication that said may help. He has been taking the medication for about 2 weeks now and guess what happened last night.... he ejaculated.... There may be some hope after all!!!

Me and my husband have been ttc for 18 YEARS... we have had 3 miscarriages. as of Tuesday a fertility doctor informed him he has a condition called Retrograde ejaculation. which basically means that when he climaxes it goes into his bladder instead of out the hole it should. they are telling him the only option we have is

IVF

. We can not afford

IVF

so it has gotten us both very depressed. I just dont know what to do any more. We have raised all of our nieces and nephews but it's nothing like having your own. I cant stop crying but I dont want him to know how much it is hurting me. He already feels bad and says it's all his fault he cant give me what we both want so badly. I dont know what to do anymore. Should I tell him how I really feel and how much it hurts me or should I continue to keep it in?