Clomid round 4 - 10 dpo losing hope

I knew an emotional rollercoaster could/would be a part of me taking clomid but I felt optimistic regardless. Now I’m experiencing the reality of clomid not working and I’m now not my usual self. I’m sad, the sadness is pouring out of my face and everyone can see it. All of a sudden I’m not the ‘smiley’ person I was. Little do they know that smiley person was just a front because I could be optimistic then. I’m currently experiencing the heart ache of trying to conceive unsuccessfully and have lost everyone a long the way. I think I’ve made my boyfriend fall out of love with me because there’s no love left in me, he can’t love something so heartless. I’ve never felt so empty.