Anxiety(?)

Question

I'm always worried that my boyfriend isn't okay and I check up on him a lot.
It's usually when we're texting, and I'll notice he responds shorter or with different punctuation and I immediately jump to thinking he's not good.
I know this is probably paranoia, but why do I do this?
I feel like it's anxiety induced from previous romantic relationships and not knowing when the other person is okay or not or always having emotionally unavailable/hurting partners.
It may also have to do with my family relationships, considering I wonder if I did/said something wrong to him, sometimes.
I feel like if I mention a guy in any way, it will upset him, and I immediately ask him if he's good after I mention a guy even once.
I think I'm just really anxious.
I don't want him to get frustrated with me.. I think he understands, but I really need to work on this.
He's my first partner who I've been with for about 4-5 months (that's long for me), who loves me and treats me amazingly, and who is honestly the best partner I have ever had and genuinely cares about me. I love him and am grateful for him!
Any guidance or advice would be greatly appreciated.
I'm still learning a lot about myself in this relationship.
💚

Answer

I completely understand you, I feel like this too. If my boyfriend hasn’t been online in hours I’ll think that something has happened to him. If he replies with just “yeah” or a one word answer on text I’ll think that I’ve annoyed him or I’ve done something wrong. If he acts a bit different I’ll think he doesn’t love me. Obviously I don’t actually like THINK these things it’s more like intrusive thoughts. I’m still dealing with this myself (we’ve been together for over a year) and it’s quite difficult so I’m hoping others on here have ways to deal with this. One way I find helpful is I have a notebook and just write down like why my intrusive thoughts aren’t real, basically trying to disprove them and reassure myself that everything is fine. I’m getting better because I can notice when I have an intrusive thought and tell myself that it’s not real. I really hope everything is okay for you, I hope that you find a way that helps you

Answer

First off- congratulations on finding this guy! He sounds amazing!
This is definitely anxiety and it is 100% normal for people who have this. I feel the same way 99% of the time and I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which is constant anxiety, 24/7. I know how texting SUCKS because you can’t ever detect the tone or mood of the message. 
So, trust me when I say this, you are not crazy! I know that most girls feel this way too. The best thing to do is to trust your intuition, if he’s as wonderful as you mentioned he is, then it’ll all be okay, because he loves you. 💞

Answer

Gods, I get this way too! And it doesn't help that I even get withdrawals if I don't speak to my man for 24 hours. In the beginning of our relationship we used to talk every single day and text very often. 
But now after 5 months of dating I guess the honeymoon stage is over. 😢
I know he works very hard and is tired all the time but I can't help but think negative thoughts when we don't speak for a couple days days. 
It's already been three days since we've spoken on the phone. And I don't like to bother him when he's busy cuz it gives me anxiety. I don't want to be in his way. 
But now I feel like I'm being neglected. It's taking everything I have just to calm myself. And remember he's working hard so we can be together. It's just really hard sometimes...
I hope things with you get better and I recommend talking to your partner about your anxiety. Just to let him know your side of it. I'm going to do the same. Cuz honestly this anxiety I feel is bullshit.

Anxiety(?)

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