Am I a bad FTM?....

I’ve went into preterm labor 3 times now. I’m 36 weeks, and my doctor keeps wanting to give me muscle relaxers to stop my uterus from contracting and I finally spoke up and said no today and they sent me home. My contractions are still going on 3-5 min apart but I hadn’t dilated anymore past a 1.5. They prescribed me Flexiril & I just don’t want to keep taking all of this to basically stop labor temporarily. I’ve had the two rounds of steroid shots at 30 weeks due to PIH. I’m not trying to be selfish just to get this pregnancy over with, I really have a gut feeling my body is trying to have our baby for a reason. 😢