Baby gender emotions

On July 2nd my son and husband will be accompanying me to the anatomy scan for the new family addition I’m currently nurturing in utero! It’s so exciting and the most important thing is checking baby’s health, but we are also excited to find out baby’s gender.

As the date gets closer it’s been coming up in discussions a lot. I’ve been very emotional so every little thing makes me feel something and most of the feelings I have now surrounding the gender of this little one are negative... my husband, son and I have been discussing it for a while, those discussions have all been nice and caused no sadness for me. My husband and I will likely only be having 2 kids, we’ve left the possibility of a 3rd on the table but both agree that we are only positive we want two and would not be purposefully having a third unless we were to become absolutely positive in the future that’s what we want. My husband and I are hoping that this little one is a girl as we are already raising a wonderful son and would like to also have a wonderful daughter. We agree as well that more than anything we will be happy to have two wonderful children and should this one be a boy then we will be proud parents of two lovely boys. My son wants a brother which I understand and would be happy for him to have a brother even if that’s not my initial hope.

Other discussions have left me feeling down. My mother in law asked if we liked this superhero material because she was gonna make the baby some stuff out of it. I do not care that it was forest green and super heroes, it was really cool and I would be happy with it for a boy or girl. The thing is that my sister in law just had a baby, a boy. She had really wanted a girl, was a little heartbroken upon finding out that he was a boy and I know she and my mother in law had to return some girl stuff they had bought when they were set on him being a girl. This might be my ridiculous hormones but this choice of material (when I’m sure she would’ve chosen a more feminine material for my sister in law had she had a girl) and some of the stuff she’s said like “I have a big bag of baby clothes ‘sister in law’ isn’t going to use for you” which are all boys clothes has made me feel like she expects me to have a boy...

My husbands grandmother asked what we wanted and when we said girl she said “well you know most of his cousins, especially the ones close in age, will be boys so a boy would just work much better don’t you think?”

My sister who has a boy, a girl and another boy always tells me “you don’t want a daughter”

Even my son’s teacher says she hopes it’s a boy because that will be better for my son.

My mom and dad are the only ones who haven’t commented something like that, they both seem keen either way which is all I was really hoping for as a response.

I don’t like this feeling that I will be hurting people or disappointing my mother and sister in law if I have a daughter, I don’t like this feeling that I will be hurting my son if I have a daughter and my husband if I don’t. I don’t like feeling that my son won’t have a positive relationship with his sibling if it’s a girl.

Notes: boy or girl I will be happy. I just want a healthy baby. If you’re going to comment to tell me that me having a preference is a problem for you, fine, but I will ignore it.

As for the material things, I’m thankful for anything made for or given to my children always. I don’t so much care about colors or prints, that’s not what really matters to me, what I’m having a hard time with is what I am seeing as the underlying reasoning in these choices.

Please do tell me honestly if you think I’m being crazy or reading too much into all of this!!!!