Random feelings... it happens

I constantly and constantly wonder what am I going to do with my life I am scared I’m going to either be one of those people who are working in McDonald’s or in a job that I hate but honestly all I want to do is really live life but this world is so fucked up right not that I feel like I will never have a chance to do it

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Sometimes I get to these points where I just want to be like a straight up introvert...just say fuck everybody in live life with no cares but then I also wanna just be with someone I love and just enjoy life with them but I’ve been through to much shit in my life to put trust into someone like that I just want to be able to kinda idk be happy ig

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I want to say that it all started when my “father” came down for a surprise visit to see me he came for 5 mins and asked me if I wanted to stay with him for 2 weeks ... now at the time this man was still a stranger to me so I said no he said ok and said he would see me before he leaves town the next thing I know I waiting on the porch till 9 o’clock at night seeing my “father” drive right past me😂😂 he didn’t even honk