June 14th I was scheduled for induction, so me and my husband went in at 5 in the morning to start the process. I was there from that Thursday till that following Saturday and walked out without a baby and feeling very discouraged because they tried so hard to induce me and failed so by the time I was discharged I was feeling extra tired without strength. I was scheduled to return June 20th (my due date) by then I had walked the outlet malls sat on the yoga ball, and took warm baths so I get to the hospital Wednesday only to find out I was still 2cm dilated 70% effaced. By the end of the day I felt discouraged once again because I wasn’t seeing any progression, finally Thursday morning the nurse came to break my water because I was already 4cm, as soon as my water was broken they realized the baby had had a bowel movement inside but didn’t seem to concerned because his heart rate was perfect. Fast forward to 4 hours later, by this time I had already gotten my epidural and I was basically ready to push.

This is where I get traumatized....

Y’all I pushed for 3 hours STRAIGHT. My only strength was that I wanted my baby boy already. I could tell everyone that was around was trying to send me positive energy but I could tell by looking at them that they were concerned, specially my husband. My baby boy was side ways so I was trying to crown they kept seeing his shoulder with his head. After a good while my epidural had worn off and I could feel every little pain. I remember just crying saying that I was exhausted and I couldn’t do it anymore. Finally I don’t know where I got the strength and I pushed with all the little strength I had inside of me. I literally felt myself rip and the ring of fire is no joke. As I pushed out my placenta my midwife realized that he had actually pooped inside of me more than one time. My poor baby came out so bruised and I remember just crying and crying and feeling overwhelmed. And now I just look at my son and think of how much he was worth. Every single little stitch.