I cheated

so after 4 years of being disrespected, cheated on, belittled, slapped etc. I finally cheated. It doesn't feel good at all. people always say GOD WILL MAKE A WAY but I feel like that's not possible with this man. so I came clean (He asked) and he treated me like the scum of the earth. I know I'm not right by any means but unfortunately I believe he ever has cared for me which lead me to another man. I never ever thought I would cheat..and here I am.