Am I wrong?

Question

I told my boyfriends mother that I will need 3 weeks to adjust to being around my newborn since this is my first child and she went out of her way to message my mother about it when it doesn't involve her. I've never said that she was a visitor and she knows she's more than welcome to visit us anytime yet she took things out of context and started saying I'm excluding her family. She sent her voice notes talking about all the things she's done and acting out of pocket to my mother. She didn't have the nerve to come to me and talk instead she retaliated to her.

Answer

Honestly, that baby is absolutely yours, but don’t shoot yourself in the foot. Family is incredibly important and if you alienate them now, you won’t have them to lean on later when you need a babysitter or emotional support. I’m talking from experience. It’s one thing to want to spend a week alone with your baby first to rest and heal; it’s another to shut out immediate family for three weeks to two months. Rest, enjoy your little one and arrange for small little visits, like two or three hours at a time every once in a while. Take a nap while the visitors are over, especially grandmothers - trust me, it’s some of the only rest you’re going to get. Good luck!

Answer

I can understand setting up appropriate visit times when you see appropriate....but not allowing them to meet the baby AT ALL is kinda overreacting. You’ll be able to adjust and bond just fine by allowing family to meet the new addition. I can understand why family is hurt.

Answer

I'm not alienating her from my child. I simply meant for her to give me 3 weeks until visitors around my baby. Even my boyfriend agrees with me and talked to her about her this and she still isn't being understanding

Answer

It’s your baby! no need for added stress! It is perfectly normal to have your baby to yourself. This way your not playing housekeeper for guests. It’s your baby they need to respect YOUR decision and how you feel and make this a very smooth and a no stress environment for you. It’s about you and your baby right now no one else. Just make sure to tell them you can visit later on but give you some time to adjust settle etc. Good luck!

Answer

We went 2 wks with our newborn before family came and they respected it. They told us when we were ready and wanted helped they would be there. You’re not saying they’ll never see baby you’re saying you need time to adjust to the extra family

Answer

Are you saying that you intend to make everyone, including immediate family, wait 2 mo this to meet your baby? I think most people would be upset in her position. 🤷‍♀️

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From comments below it sounds like this is a misunderstanding, so why not apologize for not being clear and clarify that, of course she will be invited to be around her grandchild? Why make a big deal of her reaction if you don’t intend to exclude her?

Answer

I completely understand and I don't think you're wrong for wanting space to adjust to your new life with BF. This is your child, so don't feel obligated to roll over for pushy relatives who can't respect a simple request. 🤷
The fact that she texted your mom behind your back is weird and dramatic. I would be pissed.

Answer

Girl you’re going to need the help in those first few months. This is crazy

Answer

3 weeks is a long time for her not to get a bond with her grandchild I can see why she’s hurt by this 😭

Am I wrong?

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