Opinion Please (Family Issues)

This is a LONG story ⚠️⚠️⚠️

I’m 21 years old, Married, with 2 step babies and one on the way. I got pregnant prior to getting married but we were engaged already just for a little info.

All my life, My mom and her parents have raised me and provided the best they could for me. Things were not always perfect but I was blessed by them and such a loving, wonder support system. My mom had me at 18, and my father didn’t want anything to do with me. He encouraged her to get an abortion or place me for adoption. She refused and knowingly decided she’d rather raise me on her own than with him anyways. But after she decided to have me, he kept some form of limited and shitty involvement. He would show up maybe once a year out of the blue to visit, missed a million softball games and dance recitals,

the majority of all birthdays and holidays even though he was made aware of them and was just always a very absent father. I struggled with that for many years until I just learned to accept him for who he was and be thankful for the family I did have.

After I turned 18 and graduated (which he missed) I decided I was going to put the whole past in the past and try to have a decent relationship with him as adults (18 is barley an adult so is 21 but moving on 😂🤦‍♀️) and things were okay for a couple years, he said his apologies and we had

more consistent contact, he got to know my then boyfriend turned fiancé now husband and we were in an okay place.

Once I got pregnant, he completely crossed a line in my opinion. I told him I was expecting a baby boy in July and told him that I really wanted him to be apart of his life because my grandpa was such a huge part of mine. He seemed okay and then invited me to dinner a couple months after, this is where it gets messy to me. He told me that I have to place my child for adoption, my fiancé is going to leave me because there’s no way he wants to responsibility of 3 kids and that I’ll be trapped alone with a child and no man will want me. I was completely in shock.

I feel like first and foremost, our relationship was no where near a close enough place to have that kind of input

on my decisions when he had absolutely no involvement raising me or concern for me as a child and I feel like he was projecting his feelings towards me and my mother from 20 years ago into my situation. I left dinner bawling my eyes out and felt once again let down and broken hearted by my “father”.

After that I decided I was just going to end all contact with him and move on from him as a person because I thought it was in the best interest of my child and still feel that way. I survived just fine without him and don’t want the psychological torment of a person who is in and out of my kids life when they should have a firm place.

I’m 2 weeks away from delivery and my dad called me out of the blue (, left me an 8 second voicemail of silence and then hung up. It’s been in my head recently if I’m being too harsh and depriving my child of his family. The only grandparent he will have is my mom, seeing how my husbands mother is passed away and his father abandoned him young. I’m just looking for outside opinions on if I should try to allow a place for my father in my sons life or if I’m right to think we are all better off without him.

I know that was long winded but please give me your opinion