My bf is gray ace and although he is fine after purely kink sessions , after anything sexual involving penetration, he gets pretty bad repulsion. After we have vaginal or anal, and once we clean up, he doesn't want us to touch, see me or him naked, talk about anything sexual, etc. I understand him being repulsed and try to respect it as much as I can. But, especially after rough sex, or really intense sessions that end with sex, I need aftercare.

Sometimes we will take a bath together (aftercare-ish), but only when his repulsion isn't too bad, and even then we don't touch to much and stay pretty separate (which is hard in an apartment sized bathtub with him being 6’2” and me 5’2” bit most times I want more. I would like to be held and cuddled etc, just anything to make me feel okay and that everythings fine and that I did well for him, it makes me feel really strange to be in extreme sub space and than suddenly need to me in a normal headspace (like jumping into a cold pool after being in a hot tub if that makes since idek). I guess, id like to find some way to do after care together that doesn't make him extremely uncomfortable well being repulsed, but let's me feel okay and loved. Does anyone have any suggestions of alternative aftercare compromises?