4th of July sadness

I can’t stand today. It would have been been 3 years we’ve been together if I didn’t break up with you. I shouldn’t have gave in to peer pressure and said yes when you asked me out. I was so scared you’d get upset with me if I had said no, because of all the tender kisses we shared that day.

I’m upset I said yes, because that meant I would be dating my sexual assaulter, and I didn’t think like that till a year later.

I’m upset I said yes, because I gave up being your best friend forever, things would never be the same.

I’m upset I said yes, because I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay your best friend, but I knew you wanted more than that status. I gave in to make you happy, and it was the worst mistake.

I wonder if you think of me, like I think of you. 3 years later, and it still haunts me how clear I remember this day. I was so broken, so hurt. It didn’t feel right when your hand was down my pants, but I thought I’d get used to it. It still didn’t feel right 2 months down the road. It only lasted 2 months, and I ruined us forever. I’m so sorry...