Okay so this is going to be long and it's all for the sake of putting it somewhere other than the back of my mind, where it always seems to slowly creep up on me. Hitting me like a train.

I don't know what is wrong with me. Honestly I'm not sure if there is anything wrong with me, or maybe I am just too emotional, like everyone says. But I constantly feel like the world and everyone in it, is planning against me. Like no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try. I am just not good enough. I cry too much, and I'm too insecure and I never trust like I should. I honestly don't have a valid reason why. I want to! God do I want to. I want to be able to just push the way I feel away, and go on like everything is okay, and it IS! But why do I feel like it's not okay?

What is wrong with me! Why do I ruin everything good in my life, with all of my thoughts, all of my invalid feelings. I say invalid because I literally have no reason... I have no reason to feel the way I do. I have no reason to question the things I question. I don't know what to do.. And I thought maybe jotting down my thoughts might make me feel better. Even if no one is to read them. Just to know that they are out in the world, without the repercussions of getting asked why I feel the way I do, and not knowing the answer makes me feel some what at ease... Like I have at least lifted some of the weight off my shoulders