How will you speak to your children/teens/grown children about your past mistakes?

Question

I posted this in another group (parenting) but only got two replies. I’m hoping more people will answer it now that I’m re-posting it.

Answer

I did horrible things when I was a youngster. I had a rough and painful upbringing which caused me to turn to outlets that were dangerous and harmful. Spent lots of time in juvenile hall and rehab. It wasn’t until I got pregnant with my daughter that I dropped EVERYTHING and everyone. I completely changed my entire life. Worked my ass off two jobs while getting my bachelors. Starting the process now for my masters. I will not hide who I was or what i did. However I hope that if I give my girls a good life with as little emotional trauma as possible, they won’t need an outlet. Hopefully I’ll be able to give them the tools I never had. If they ask I will tell them. I believe by modeling truth they will be truthful. Fingers crossed

Answer

I want to kind of explain as I go.. like tell them as much as I think they will be able to understand at whatever age they are. I definitely want to tell be as open as possible with my kids so they see that 1. They can be just as open with me 2. To learn from my mistakes 3. They will learn that everyone can and will make mistakes

Answer

When I raise my kids I’m going to educate them as much as I can about domestic abuse and make sure they never have a low enough self esteem like I did to believe that I deserved the treatment

Answer

I plan on being very honest with them. My father told me about his father's drug abuse and how he never did drugs because of it and it made me never try. I grew up knowing all of his wrongs and how they got him where he was and I decided I didn't want to go down the same path. I feel like being open with them will either stop them from making the same mistakes or make them comfortable telling me if they slip up because I've been I their shoes and will be able to help them.

Answer

I plan on telling my kids about their bio moms past. Addiction is genetic so I want them to be fully informed when they make decisions. Everyone has a past but we have to learn from it and move on

Answer

I wouldn’t lie about it but if it could be a good lesson to them like if they got caught doing something similar I think it would be good. My mom use to expect me to learn from her every mistake and not make any of my own and it didn’t make for a good relationship between us. I lived with my dad and didn’t visit my mom as much as I should have.. I understand now that her intentions were good but as a teenager it was so frustrating.

How will you speak to your children/teens/grown children about your past mistakes?

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