Sorry so long....

My back story:

I have 3 boys by 3 different men before I married and had 2 little girls. My husband and I met a long time ago when we were really young but life took both of us in a different direction. He has 2 children of his own that I adore, even though the little boy I haven't had the pleasure to meet but I still love him as my own. but the little girl I love to death. Anyways before I had kids I was a mess doing things that people should never do. Worked all the time party all the time. A mess. I was 15-17 year old a mess. But as soon as I left for college/ rehab, I met my first sons father... he's a mess even now, I stopped all the partying and being a mess buckled down finished college, went back to live with my parents, and didn't hear a word from his dad for like 6 months. Which I was cool with didn't care didn't need a drug user in my sons life. Well I ended going back to work with a fast food restaurant because thanks to the president at the time the economy failed and so my certification was a waste of time and money that I paid for not the government. Had my son tried to make it work because he said he was cleaning up his act well he didn't so I left. Then I met my seconds kids father when I was 6 years old. Best friends all through the schooling, even after high school. Promised me everything in the world and that he would take care of me and my boy. LIES. As soon as my second son was born he fled the scene and married someone 2 months after my son was born. Let's just say we are on ok terms for now. Then I met my third sons father shortly after my second son turned 6 months. Got pregnant again by this low life in his 30s that cheats on every single woman that is down in the dumps. Worst three years of my life. I was put through hell and back but for some reason the weasel knew what to say to get me back into his arms. Stole from me and was just plain horrible person. He's no longer in my life or my sons because of what he did. Anyways I have worked hard all my life and my husband and I reunited 4 years ago. Got married and now have more family to grow. And I'm okay with that. Before I worked 3 jobs to support my boys and the losers I chose to date in the past. Because I was young and dumb. Now I'm married and I have one job and my husband works also. We just bought a house and fixed it up. Well he fixed it up I'm really too high risk to be doing much which makes me feel bad but being high risk pregnant is no joke. Well it's been one thing after another with fixing this house that his side of the family owns. We finally get the carpet in the master bedroom and the bed from our old house and tonight of all nights the tree in the yard falls on the power line and blows the transformer. The city says they will fix it but we have to pay for most of the costs and we don't have house insurance yet. That was going to be next years project was the insurance. Every time we take three steps forward it feels like we get kicked in the face four steps back. I tell him it will be okay and look at the bright side but this has been going on for the past 6 months. I'm tired of being optimistic. I just want things to start going smoothly. I've been sober and clean for 12 years now. When does life stop punishing you for all the little things that youve done in the past and make it easier to breath? Getting the house from family, she paid in full for the property and everything we are just buying it off of her.