I can't do this anymore.

I'm so done with feeling this way, feeling like I'm not good enough, I'm so done with feeling like I don't fit in, feeling like no where is home to me, I'm sick of over thinking, I'm sick of being told things I don't want to hear, I'm sick of hurting and mostly I'm sick of my life and what it has become, I feel second best. I should have made different choices and I know that now that it's to late. My heart it hurts beyond belief and I'm honestly so fucking alone. As I type this I'm bawling my eyes out while my husband just sleeps.

I feel so much pain and I just want it to end.

It's 3:15 am and I still haven't slept since 4:00 am the previous morning and I can't go to sleep now. I want to run away far from here or better dead.

I haven't felt this amount of pain for so long in a very long time and it's like beating a dead horse I'm sick, I'm so sick but no ones hears me no one listens, I'm so emotionally drained and I don't know what there is left to do.

Nothing helps and it's eating away at me but there isn't anything left.

All I want is to feel loved and like I'm the only one but all I feel is loneliness.