Fucking anxiety 😒

Ok my boyfriend's aunt passed away last week, her funeral was today. We go to his parents house for a little lunch and his 2 month old niece and nephew twins are there too. My fear is that his brother and sister in law will not let me hold them or go near them. Yes it's their rights as parents not to let some people hold them, and I understand that. But we my baby fever as high as it is I can't be around babies without wanting to hold them. They don't like some of the ways that I calm myself down from having an anxiety attack or a depression episode. Personally what I do doesn't hurt them, my boyfriend and myself, I have to do whatever it takes to make myself better. Here's what they don't like what I do to help myself out of an anxiety attack or a depression episode.

I have a realistic reborn doll that I originally got to practice taking newborn portraits only but it turned out to help me.

I post whatever is bothering me on my personal Facebook account but I don't call them names or anything else.

I don't know what else they don't like what I do for my anxiety and depression.