Dear anyone that cares

Well I realized I can’t make anyone happy but in reality I can make people happy just not the two people that mean the most to me without hurting one of them which hurts me so how am I supposed to choose which one I make happy of course one person will say I should matter more make me happy or I will leave and the other one is saying it’s okay choose him I understand but I feel like it’s a mask to trick me into him but idk both of them I have hurt and they have both hurt me I know I should make myself happy i but I can’t without hurting someone which will make me unhappy so I’m stuck in a war of this which is so stressful